The Underground and Colin Creevey
by sittingpretty
Summary: Colin has a little, er, 'habit'. With help from his hormonal friends, he finds a way to profit from his life of phototaking and developing! Featuring Colin 'The Wiz', giggly teenage boys, and a whole lot of naked yet oblivious girls of Hogwarts.


***My Notes:*  **I'm having a bit of - ::GASP:: - writer's block at the moment, so the next chapter of my fic 'Ginny Weasley and the Year of Exploring' is a tad held up as you might guess.  But today I had time to look over what I have so far and the bit about Colin Creevey and his, ahem, "pictures"...  Needless to say, I got an idea for a ficlet and decided to take it and run (I haven't written something odd and silly in a while!) ^_~  I hope you guys don't take it too seriously – it's all in good fun!

***Disclaimer:*  **The characters and their respective personalities belong to JK Rowling, and her only.  I _do_ admit to twisting things around in an amusing way, though. ^^

~~~

_Click.  Snap.  _That was all she heard.  But what could a few odd noises add up to?  Nothing sinister could come of a little sound like that.

_Click.  Snap.  _The steam rose out of the stall where she had just enjoyed a warm shower.  The water ran down her curvaceous body in runnels, filling her with small orgasms of cleanliness and sensuality.

_Click.  Snap.  _To capture her beauty, her happiness, her essence – that was Colin Creevey's privilege.

~~~

"Wiz, you've gotta stop doing this," Graham Pritchard breathed excitedly.  Of course, he didn't mean it.  He went through the Polaroids again happily.  "They're amazing."

"They could be _art_," Euan Abercrombie added.  "In a museum."

"You dolt," Colin said, hitting him over the head.  "Maybe a _pornography_ museum."

"Oh!  Oh!"  Anthony Goldstein was apparently struck with a brilliant idea.  "Send in to _'Large Wand'_!  And _'Quaffles and Broomsticks'_!"

"Annnthonnyyyy!" the table groaned.  For a Ravenclaw, he was surprisingly dim and horny, as well.

"I'm not selling out!  These pictures are for our benefit only – not to stimulate some old wizard in Wales...  Oh, eww..." Colin made a face of disgust at the thought.  "I don't want to share Parvati's amazing ethnic body with magical England – nor Hermione's _you-know-what_.  I _know_ I'm sick and obsessed," he said, drawing up a courageously honest face, "but it'd be worse if I publicized them.  The things I've experienced are so epic and personal.  It's my niche."

"Yeah, because it takes a genius to hide behind a flower pot while girls get nudie and pose unknowingly for you."  Graham rolled his eyes.

Colin sighed.  Of course his perverted friends would never understand him – no one could.  Well, if you can't beat 'em, join them...

"Hey guys!  I've got a great idea!  Seven sickles a shot!" Euan cried out.

For the first time in his life and undoubtedly not the last, Colin agreed.

~~~

"Wow," Jason Menden said.  He was currently viewing a provocative yet teasing picture of Lavender Brown.  She had her back turned but the way she was taking off her bra was so alluring...  And the fact that the only other thing she was in was a thong.

"The Wiz worked very hard during this set," Abercrombie said expertly.  "We have eight other photos from this same piece in lusty time, all including _very_ erotic poses.  I might add that the Wiz was lucky enough to catch _two_ girls on this roll – apparently Lavender and Parvati are more curious about each other's breasts than we knew!"

The small crowd of hormonal teenagers giggled nervously.

"Now, now, I don't stand around here for nothing.  Cough up the shiny stuff, fellows – seven sickles a snap, and a galleon and four sickles for the session!  Gryffindor girls getting steamy!  Hot stuff, there, boys!"

After fifteen minutes of haggling and profits, the cluster dispersed and 'the Wiz' showed up.

"We did great today, Colin," Euan said enthusiastically.  "We've got, ah, say five galleons?  Maybe more, I have to count again...  We're out of Lavenders (I think I went a bit heavily on the advertisement of _that_ feline) and people are getting bored of the old Hermione stuff.  Not to mention the fact that Draco Malfoy put in a _special _order for some Hannah Abbott."

"A Hufflepuff?  Who knew?" Colin mused.

"Wiz, this is _serious_," Euan pressed.

"Alright, alright, I'm on it."  Colin turned to get his camera from his dorm.

"Wait – Wiz?" Euan called.

"Yeah?"

"I reckon we've just begun a movement."

"Er, yeah?"

"Yeah.  A Hogwarts Pornography Underground.  Something like that," Euan said.

Colin looked surprised, and then he blushed a bit. "I don't know whether to laugh or cry."

~~~

***My Notes:***  Oh, please oh please oh please do go ahead and _laugh_!!!  I hope that anyone who read this far knows that this is all in good fun.  Also, the nickname '(the) Wiz' was Colin's pre-sell out.  He was so talented that was what his friends called him. ::laughs::  And once he and Euan set up business, obviously he didn't want to get into Filch's records, so he went by that pen name (photo name?).  ^_^


End file.
